Never Had a Girlfriend? How to Get a Girlfriend as a Shy Guy
Being a shy guy can mean a number of things, especially to those around you. Your friends probably think you are the nicest guy on the planet, and wish you would find the perfect girl who deserves you. Chances are, they are right. Shy guys have a number of stunningly brilliant attributes including modesty, and humility, that a lot of guys lack. Of course, to shy guys it always seems that the boisterous guy always gets the girl. You know, the guy who can drag a girl out onto the dance floor even when she is shaking her head no? You do not have to be that guy. There are a number of dating tips that will provide you with the knowledge you need on how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy. You simply have to have an open mind, and do a little work on yourself to get there, even if you have never had a girlfriend before.
Never Had a Girlfriend? So What!
There are plenty of shy guys who have been on dates, or have female friends, even well into their 30s, who simply have not made the connection of a girlfriend. This is not uncommon and certainly should not be an obstacle to getting the girl now. One of the things you need to know about how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy, even if you have never had a girlfriend, is that you know plenty about yourself at this point in your life, and you should use it to your advantage.
Consider all of the things you like — and the things you dislike — so you can establish a comfort zone to learn how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy. Do you love classical music, the theatre or movies? Consider joining a club that includes others — women too, of course — who enjoy the same. No matter what your interests are, there are women who love the very same thing, and all you have to do to expose your inner shy guy is begin by making an appearance at these events. The women are not going to magically appear at your home, so you will have to make the initial effort to interact with them socially, and clubs and memberships are the best way to start.
Keep in mind that if you want to learn how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy, you have to first stop replaying the fact that you have never had a girlfriend in your head. Should you attend a group event that is part of a club you have joined, walk into it knowing that is it no one’s business how many girlfriends you have had — including the women who are there that may interest you. It is common to be single, and enjoy your life, while fulfilling your interests, so do not beat yourself up about or it will show. That is simply the beginning of how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy. However, starting with you is a great jumping off point.
Get to Work on Outing Your Inner Shyness
Being shy can be charming and whimsical. Not every woman on the planet likes the loud mouth guy who controls the room, only to interrupt any decency along the way. It is okay to stay true to your modest existence, but a couple of improvements must be formed along the way if you want to know how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy. Start with the guy in the mirror.
First, understand that you are shy, but do not use it as an excuse to sit in the corner. In order to get the girl, you have to admit to yourself that you are terrified of spending an hour cooking class each week standing next to the girl you want to ask out, and you have to do it anyway. Do not let your emotional fears take over. Simply acknowledge them, face them, and spend the class trying to overcome them. You are already there, so you might as well make the best of it!
Part of getting to that point is taking stock in you. Are you standing up straight? Are you making eye contact? Work on those two things non-stop starting now. You do not have to begin your dating strategy by becoming the guy on the dance floor, but you do have to be present in the moment. That means listening by acknowledging you understand through eye contact and good posture. If you are slouching and looking at the floor while a woman talks to you, she is going to feel slighted and her interest is going to be diminished immediately. Again, it may terrify you, but if you have to repeat in your head over and over and over “Sit up straight, look her in the eye, smile” to yourself the entire time you are talking with a girl for the first time, go right ahead.
Once you feel like you can maneuver the murky waters of courtship with a semblance of confidence through sitting up straight and making eye contact, motivate yourself to become less shy by talking to a stranger each day. Even if it is the barista at the coffee shop you frequent (and placing your order does not count) or a girl at the newsstand, practice saying “Good morning” or “Good afternoon” to someone you do not know when they make eye contact with you. You would be amazed at how easy it will become, and your confidence will be boosted as a result.
How to Get a Girlfriend as a Shy Guy
Some shy guys believe that because they have never had a girlfriend, there is no use in trying, and nothing could be further from the truth. If you want to know how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy, follow these quick and easy steps to getting there — even if you have never had a girlfriend before. Remember, although having a girlfriend may be new to you, the world has seen more than its share of both great and mediocre versions, you have simply been waiting for the one who gets it right for you.
Start by making her a friend first. You do not have to ask a woman out the minute you meet her. Instead, be kind and allow her to trust you as a person. Shy guys are humble, which can be incredibly appealing to women. Allow her to see it for herself, without the pressure of making her your girlfriend right away. Some of the best relationships begin as friendships.
Continue down the path of getting to know each other by being yourself. Certainly there is nothing wrong with trying new things, but if you are debilitating shy, entering an Improv troupe to find a girl is probably the wrong angle. Remember your interests and look for women who share them. Together you two can enter new worlds, expanding each other’s comfort zones along the way. Keep it simple and comfortable at first — for both of you. If she dislikes Chinese food, do not force the fact that you love it upon her and demand she try it on your first date. That system goes both ways when you are learning how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy: You do not have to do anything that terrifies you, or that you dislike. Simply be honest and forthright, saying that maybe next time you will want to try sushi or go to a salsa dance club. You do not have to be everything to everyone right away, but you do have to keep an opened mind along the way.
Never Had a Girlfriend? Make it About Her!
There is one sure way to learn how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy: Make it about her! Listen to her talk, and take the information in as if you are researching her for an important assignment. Listen intently, make eye contact and smile as she tells stories about her dog or cat, parents or siblings or even events in her life. Allow her to carry the conversation, or ask non-probing follow up questions to keep the conversation going.
An example might be:
Girl: “I went to college in Vermont.”
You: “What was that like?”
Easy enough, right? More importantly, remember what she says and what is important to her. If she reveals that her very best friend in the world is her grandmother, ask how she is doing the next time you talk to her. Recalling important things will endear her to you, and she will want to spend more time with you because you care.
If you have never had a girlfriend, do not worry about not knowing what to do on a date. Simply allow the girl to make fair and equitable decisions regarding your activities. In the meantime, making it all about her will send her to the moon and back, so opening doors and pulling out her chair are simple ways at landing a second date.
Being Shy & Getting the Girl
In the end, learning how to get a girlfriend as a shy guy, even if you have never had a girlfriend, means being honest, displaying integrity at every turn and enjoying the time you spend with the woman, even if it is only during a club-arranged event at first. Kindness, compassion and understanding are all impressive ways to get the girl, even when you are shy. Make yourself available to her, and let her know that you are always around to talk, dine, watch a movie or enjoy a class together. Once you have made the connection, all you have to do is continue to make it all about her, and she will be yours in no time.