Look, I’m never going to turn my nose up at an episode of TV that’s just a bunch of lip syncs. I love lip syncs! Lip syncs are great. Remember on season 16 when they did that lip-sync reunion, and it was one of the best episodes the show has ever made because the stakes were super high for some of the queens, and they ultimately worked their asses off to do really well? That was great. Like most of this season, this particular episode felt incredibly perfunctory and overall poorly conceptualized, but I was able to put that aside because I really do love hair flips.
Let’s start with the complaints because then I’ll shut up and get it moving: The biggest issue throughout this whole episode is that better lip syncs in better seasons haunt it. Part of it is that previous Lalaparuzas had higher stakes and resulted in iconic lip syncs like Sasha vs. Anetra, Megami vs. Morphine, and Bosco vs. Jasmine Kennedy. In those, you could feel how much it mattered to the queens. Here, not as much. Also, every song in this Lalaparuza is a fan-favorite song that has already been used on the show. Inevitably, that forces comparison to the original number, and whether it’s nostalgia or simply better lip syncing previously, most of the time, I found the new versions lacking in comparison.
Still — lip syncs! Lip syncs are great. Like, most of the time in my life I’d rather be watching drag queens lip-sync than doing anything else I’m doing. So, you know, there’s a high floor on this shindig.
Running down the lip syncs, in order:
Gottmik vs. Angeria
Gottmik gets picked to pick her opponent first by Bruno, and she chooses Angeria because she performs in a different style from her, which is an insane choice. She should know that this means that Angeria gets to choose the song, so the fact that they perform very differently is not, in fact, something that benefits Mik anymore. Angeria chooses “My Lovin’,” by En Vogue, and promptly demolishes Mik. This is just not Mik’s song. She, quite clearly, should have picked Nina, who would have given her something campy to work with, which is Mik’s strength as a performer. On her own merits, Angeria does well enough. She’s not exceptional, but definitely wins. Do I think that either girl would have beaten the original performer of this song on Drag Race, Raven? No, I do not. In fact, when this episode ended, I went back and watched Raven perform this song because it was so good. And that was back when they didn’t know how to edit lip syncs!
Vanjie vs. Plastique
The next girl to pick an opponent is Vanjie, who has a clear and obvious opponent — Plastique is not a great lip-syncer, and she’ll pick a song that Vanjie wants to perform. Easy! She chooses Plastique (smart!), who picks “When I Grow Up,” by Pussycat Dolls. This is the third time they’ve done this song on the show. I’d rank this version below Coco’s weird but fierce performance, where she was dressed as a small child, but above Lala Ri and Denali’s first face-off. There’s a lot of hair flipping and stunts but not a lot of connecting with the song this round. Also, it’s Pussycat Dolls, not rocket science. Vanjie is a more engaging performer, so she wins it, sending Plastique to the back without a single lip-sync win this season. If someone would just tell her, “Focus on your face,” she could fix it.
Nina vs. Shannel
Nina gets to pick her opponent next and opts for Shannel, which makes sense. Shannel picks “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record),” by Dead or Alive, which also makes sense. This is the song I was most happy to see crop up on the list because it was originally (and infamously) performed by Trinity the Tuck in old-age makeup, and that was not that fun. Wouldn’t it have been more fun to pick all songs that deserved lip-sync redemptions? Make Nina do “No Scrubs” again, I say. Anyway, Shannel clinches this one with ease. Nina does a fine enough job, but her costume this week is really, really hideous, and Shannel clearly knows this song back to front. It’s a good week for Shannel overall — lip-syncing is one of her major strengths. She’s great, fully redeeming Drag Race’s Dead or Alive rep. Plus, I love her hair.
Roxxxy vs. Jorgeous
The two girls nobody wants to lip-sync against are the final matchup of the first round, and Roxxxy gets to pick the song. She opts for “Holding Out for a Hero,” then tells a story in confessional about what the song means to her, which makes it clear she will be winning this round, thank you very much. Roxxxy probably has the highest stakes of the week, defending a perfect lip-sync track record over the course of a lot of lip syncs. Jorgeous puts up an admirable fight, but Roxxxy’s ability to command the stage is unmatched, and her hair flips are even better. From both girls, this is a lip sync that reminds the world that drag, at its best, can really just be about flipping some well-bobby-pinned hair. I fondly remember Aja’s original performance of the song on Drag Race, but Roxxxy is even better. She knows what to do with Bonnie Tyler. So Jorgeous loses and heads to the back — too bad, I would have rather seen two Jorgeous lip syncs than two lip syncs by some of the other girls who (fairly) advanced to the semis.
Vanjie vs. Shannel
Vanjie gets to pick her opponent in the semis and opts for Shannel because she thinks Shannel will pick the song she wants, “I’m Every Woman,” by Chaka Khan. Great song; too bad for both of the girls that they have to live in the shadow of Trinity K. Bonet. Both do well, but Shannel does better — the fact that she really knows what to do with drag standards helps Shannel a lot this week. In another world, Drag Race is more concerned with being current and then chooses some Charli XCX songs, and suddenly Gottmik is the finals. But that’s not this world, and Shannel wins fair and square, earning herself a badge and catapulting her into a tie with Angeria in terms of badges. Honestly, the funniest outcome of this season is that Shannel makes the final three and then somehow wins. Could be fun!
Roxxxy vs. Angeria
The second semifinal lip sync is Roxxxy and Angeria to the song nobody wants, “Groove Is in the Heart,” by Deee-Lite. (This is the best song on the list in many ways, but I get that Q-Tip’s rap is hard.) Roxxxy beats Angeria handily. It’s become increasingly clear that Angie’s range is pretty limited this season, and a 1990 weirdo dance track is apparently not within that. She’s a great queen, but I think she’s not in line to win the whole season, barring a transcendent finale. Roxxxy not only knows the rap verse but just plays the song well all the way through, keeping up with all the tone shifts and slide whistling. I would love to see Ms. Andrews compete in this song against Asia O’Hara, who won the lip sync the first time they did it. Both are great, but I’m glad this time we got to see someone do the rap. This earns Roxxxy her fifth star — pretty remarkable, even with the gifted star from Nina factored in.
Roxxxy vs. Shannel
Finally, Roxxxy and Shannel face off, wearing new costumes, to Ariana Grande’s “Break Free,” originally performed by Jaidynn Diore Fierce and Kandy Ho. Unfortunately, this is where the streak of Shannel-favoring tracks comes to an end, and she doesn’t quite know how to approach the Ariana track, wearing a distinctly ’80s outfit head to toe and performing it like a Grand Dame. Roxxxy knows to just be a pop star. She flips her hair like crazy — a Roxxxy staple for the entirety of the time she’s been on the show — and controls the stage. Ultimately, she gets herself another win for Miracle of Love and heads into the (two-part??) finale with the wind on her back. If there’s one thing we learned from this episode, it’s bobby-pin your goddamned wigs DOWN.